Love Thy (Partisan) Neighbor: How Befriending Meditation Can Bridge Divides and Accelerate Kindness

In today’s hyper-partisan climate, it can feel almost impossible to see past political differences. But what if a simple meditation practice could help bridge the gap between “us” and “them”? Recent research published in a peer-reviewed journal has found that a brief session of befriending meditation—often called loving-kindness meditation—can reduce affective polarization, the emotional chasm that separates how warmly we view our own political group compared to the opposing side.

What Is Affective Polarization?

Affective polarization refers to the growing divide in feelings between people who share the same political beliefs and those who don’t. In the United States, this gap has widened significantly over recent decades. When we think about politics, it’s not just about policy differences—it’s also about how we feel toward those who disagree with us. The study found that by fostering positive emotions toward the political outgroup, we can begin to narrow this gap.

Enter Befriending Meditation

Kindness Meditation

Unlike mindfulness meditation, which focuses on present-moment awareness, befriending meditation is all about cultivating kindness—first toward ourselves, then extending that goodwill to loved ones, acquaintances, and even those we find challenging. I like to think of this as "Kindness Meditation." Here's how it works--during a 10-minute session, sit silently and think about aspects of yourself and your life that you are grateful for. Next, think about someone you love and be grateful for them. Then wish them well. Next, do the same for a stranger you met or maybe saw recently. Finally, consider a person in your life who might be considered difficult and wish them well. This process helps generate genuine feelings of kindness and compassion, which, according to the research, can positively shift our perceptions of those with opposing political views. For some, this might be done in a prayer.

Insights From the Research

This study was bipartisan and involved American adults who identified as Democrats and Republicans. Participants were randomly assigned to one of three groups: a befriending meditation group, a mindfulness meditation group, or a control group that listened to an informational talk about mindfulness. The results were promising:

• Increased Kindness: Those who practiced befriending meditation reported significantly higher feelings of kindness and goodwill toward others.

  
  

• Reduced Polarization: Although the reduction in affective polarization was marginal, the befriending meditation group showed a greater decrease in negative feelings toward their political opposition compared to the other groups.

These findings suggest that even a brief meditation (or prayer) focused on generating kindness can help soften the emotional boundaries that separate us, potentially leading to more open, compassionate interactions in everyday life.

Why It Matters for The Kindness Accelerator

At The Kindness Accelerator, we believe in the transformative power of kindness. Whether you’re a long-time meditator or someone curious about incorporating kindness practices into your daily routine, these insights offer a practical way to contribute to a more connected, less divided society. The idea is simple: when we consciously cultivate kindness through practices like kindness meditation, we not only improve our own well-being but also pave the way for more positive, inclusive communities.

In a world where political differences often feel like insurmountable barriers, this research offers hope. It reminds us that small, intentional acts of kindness can ripple outward, softening even the deepest divides. If you’re looking to make a positive change—both within yourself and in the wider world—consider giving befriending meditation a try. It might just be the gentle nudge needed to start healing our polarized society.

Let’s work together to accelerate kindness and build bridges where walls once stood. After all, kindness might just be the common language that unites us all.

Have you tried befriending or kindness meditation? Share your experiences in the comments below or join our community feed to keep the conversation going!

References

Boxell, L., Gentzkow, M., & Shapiro, J. M. (2020). Trends in affective polarization.

Iyengar, S., Sood, G., & Lelkes, Y. (2019). Affective polarization in the American public.

Simonsson, O., Narayanan, J., & Marks, J. (2021). Love thy (partisan) neighbor: Brief befriending meditation reduces affective polarization. https://doi.org/10.1177/13684302211020108